the lil place in the corner of my head..

i can't decide with one is more beautiful..

a sea of..


the calm before...


a swirl within..


floating..


thanks to alvin for letting me stay at his place,
holland village,
so these pictures could be taken..

P.s - right click and open link in a new window for a bigger resolution

humans often don't treasure what they have,
if they know they can have it easily

i guess this is it..

i've always hated people leaving
cos it not always a certainty that they'll be back



i've always said 'see you' or 'catch you later' in place of 'good bye'
cos the last time i said good bye to a good friend,
he commited suicide the very same day
and it was really a 'good bye'..

mm their gone..
almost cried..
and everyone there thought i was as happy as an otter..
haha, lying to myself again
i don't know what to feel anymore..

i can only please one person each day.
today is not your day.
tomorrow isn't looking good for you either.

happiness ?

what would you give for happiness ?
if i could i would too..


thought provoking picture..
life is short
no one lives forever
people die everyday
who knows him or me could be next
theres a tot, now you decide

i need a place to hide,
to release the pain out of my head,
on the edge of time,
all the scenes are falling behind,
it seems that alls is lost..
its hard to smile when i'm down
but i'll do the best i can
i will try to get out of this pain,
no more lies..
from now until the end of time...

my my, the things you think of..

keep looking around, there's always something you've missed..

do you feel lost ?

added two new songs.. as usual side bar, go listen

will my soul ever rest in peace :

I've been searching for an oasis

In the desert for so long

In my weakness trying

To pretend I'm strong

I've been holding on

To things that I have left behind

I've been scared and lonely

I'm crippled inside

Bathed my soul in the starlight

Healed my wounds in the sun

Screamed my pain to the forest

Asking the question why?

[Chorus]

Will there come a time for me when I find peace of mind

Will I always have this feeling like I'm last in the line

I will climb up the mountain and light up the candle and ask:

"Will my soul ever rest in peace?"

[Chorus]

I've been washed in pain

Haunted by the ghosts of years ago

They won't leave me be

They keep coming back for more

[Chorus]

My crippled soul is yearning to be free

[Chorus]

4000 rainy nights:

These empty days are filling me with pain

After I left it seems my life is only rain

My heart is longing to the better times

When everything was still so fine

I wonder why it happens so fast

You give your heart away knowing it might not last

I'm still here waiting for the rain to fall

And to see you once again

4000 Rainy Nights

4000 Nights I'd be with you

4000 Rainy Nights with you

I keep your memory in my heart

You give me hope when everything is so dark

That thing nobody can take away

Forever in me

4000 Rainy...

A Pessimist is what an Optimist calls a Realist.

what are you feeling ?

Girls will always think about the boys they could have had.
Guys will always think about the girls that they never had.

Difference between the one you like and the one you love:

In front of the person you like, your heart beats faster
But in front of the person you love, you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring.
But in front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you like, you blush.
But if you look into the eyes of the one you love, you smile.

In front of the person you like, you can't say everything on your mind.
But in front of the person you love, you can.

In front of the person you like, you tend to get shy.
But in front of the person you love, you can show your own self.

You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you like.
But you can always smile and stare into the eyes of the one you love.

But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.
When the one you love is crying, you cry with them.

The feeling of like starts from the ear.
But the feeling of love starts from the eye.

So if you stop liking a person you used to like,
all you need to do is cover your ears.
But if you try to close your eyes,
love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever

How true do u find it to be?

haha... i'll just keep smiling

if love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
love cannot be forced, but it love can be nutured over time ?
thats stupid as it translates into
don't worry about forcing people into getting married,
even if they hate each others guts,
for initially they'll fight
but..
they'll love each other.. eventually..

the art of self deception

like i said previously,
its going to be a messy year..

i rarely ever get ill
usually i fall sick when
i'm mentally strained and even then,
its not serious
but well anything can happen in life

someone asked if i was in pain,
so i told him that i am
he then asked why i was smiling
i asked him, 'i'm not suppose to be smiling ?'
he told me that i should express what im currently feeling
and react accordingly to the situation instead of
hiding behind a mask
i then told him
'its how i deal with things, a sorta defence mechanism'
he replied,
'that must be torturous, no one will know how you really feel..'
to that i smiled somemore

a friend told me that
'i keep to myself alot
and i build up a lot of walls
so no one really knows what i'm like
if you don't bother me i won't touch you
for me to treat someone nice means
letting my guard down,
removing those walls of protection
and being just myself'
put simply, he means its potential suicide

so i told him
'if something is broken it should remain broken'
while broken things may not be as good as new things,
at least they can't be broken again..

then i realise that somethings, your heart
can be further broken, however impossible sounding it sounds

but then again what is a heart ?
does it actually have feelings ?

i keep telling myself
'its all a state of mind'
but sometimes i don't understand why am i lying to myself,
while other times i feel its absolutely necessary
i sort of grew up on the phrase
' you can either choose to see the world as a funny and happy place
and laugh at it or you can see it as a tragedy and whine and cry about it '

also, i realise if you lie to yourself long enough,
people around you will notice it
and they'll think that its the truth
and nobody but you knows..
i can tell myself and a hundred people
a thousand and one times that i'm fine
but deep down i know im the only one suffering
i'm losing myself..

this would be really funny if it weren't happening to me

blogging blindfolded

why is it that raindrops, but snowfalls?

are you sure ?

had a game of majhong just now with my relatives,
and the unluckiest of things happened..
during the last round of the west wind
there were only 8 more tiles to draw
and i ended up throwing the winning tile for 3 people..
yea all 3 gamed at the same time
what a way to start the new year..
cos the probability of that happening
is the same as getting 13 wonders

shiiok

its going to be a dam messy and weird year
everyones going and coming

Which hurts more:
having done something you should not
or having done nothing when you should?

think about it